


To Vanish

by MagitekUnit05953234



Series: Plus Infinitive [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Depression, Episode Ignis Verse 2, Gen, I love my boys, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No attempts explicitly discussed or depicted, No character death duh, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vignette, spans from Brotherhood Era to post game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 17:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18266342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagitekUnit05953234/pseuds/MagitekUnit05953234
Summary: Prompto thinks about it a lot.





	To Vanish

**Author's Note:**

> It is 4 in the morning and I have to wake up for work in an hour and some change.  
> Instead of sleeping, I've written this.  
> Before y'all get worried, this is less autobiographical than it seems lol  
> EDIT: OK so maybe that was a lie but I'm all good

Prompto thinks a lot about what would happen if he just vanished. If his apartment stood empty, if his photography blog went unupdated, if he stopped coming in to work. What if he stopped returning calls? What if he deleted all his social media? What if he didn't help the neighbor lady with her groceries anymore?

What if he vanished entirely without a trace?

Prompto thinks about it a lot.

Today, Prompto thinks he might find the answer.

He sits on the rooftop of the abandoned apartment building four blocks down, legs dangling from the end of the roof. He’s trespassing, but he doesn't really care too much about that. He is far from the first kid in the refugee district to sit up here and watch clouds or cars on the pavement.

He curls his fingers into fists and scrapes his knuckles along the concrete.

He really is stupid.

~

High school goes in the blink of an eye, and suddenly Prompto has nothing but work to suck up his time and leave him too tired to be with his only friend in any meaningful way in his free time.

They text. It's not the same.

Prompto calls in sick one day and sleeps.

~

Crownsguard training is difficult, but Prompto expected it. Each missed dodge, each extra round on the mat, each new rep or doubled set or bonus lap sinks into his bones and makes him want to weep from weariness.

He doesn't. He continues. This is supposed to make him better, after all.

None of this is for him anyway, so that means it's worth doing.

~

When his home crumbles and his friends rage, Prompto doesn't feel much of anything. He was always ready to abandon Insomnia any time the moment seemed right, so. This is just a reversal.

He still holds Noct's hand when he wakes up screaming. He still makes tea when Ignis stares into the fire long after the others have retired for the evening. He still quietly restocks their potions when Gladio's knuckles become eternally bloody.

He expected nothing, and he gives.

~

Prompto isn't vanished yet, though it is easier than ever. Don't raise your gun, don't dodge that sword, don't run out of the blast.

It would be so easy.

“You're good enough for me,” Noctis says.

Prompto was never one for lies, but considering that he is one, he thinks he can humor Noct’s for a while.

~

Prompto drops his gun on the metal floor, and watches his father dissolve.

 _Oh_ , he thinks. _I want…_

He sits before a campfire and reaches out into the flames.

_I want…_

Aranea smashes a potion bottle over his wrist and all he can think about is how someday she'll be one potion too short to save someone that matters.

_I want…_

~

Prompto wants it to be over already, but Ardyn isn't ready to let him go so soon.

“Surely you must eat something?” Ardyn tilts his head, watching Prompto turn his head away from the spoon an MT is trying to get into his mouth once again. “Your father was fond of this dish. Is it not to your liking?”

Prompto hangs.

~

 _It was supposed to be me_ , Prompto shouldn't touch the Crystal, but he does it anyway. His hands blister when he presses them to the surface. _Why wasn't it me?_

Ignis cries that night, and Prompto holds his hand. Gladio bandages Prompto's bruised knuckles. They all make tea.

~

He slips into the shadowy wilderness a few weeks after the sun stops rising, and he doesn't expect to ever be found.  

“You have a duty,” Cor says, dragging Prompto out of unconsciousness with the glow of a phoenix down lighting his fingers. “Don't abandon it now.”

“Anyone else could be what I am,” Prompto says. “Let them.”

Cor's grip on his arm tightens.

~

Ignis never says anything about it, but he doesn't have to. Prompto's lain deceivingly awake as Ignis checks his pulse more times than he could count.

He's not supposed to know, but he does.

~

He is never alone on hunts. Never alone during scavenging excursions. Never alone on trips to the tombs to gather seemingly random information for Ignis's mysterious project.

It feels almost like he is a couerl kitten being held by the scruff of his neck, passed from matriarch to matriarch during battle to ensure his safety except it's every day. Always. 

It is a lot of effort on their part. He doesn't want it to go to waste. Not yet, anyway.

He waits and counts the days.

~

The sun rises. He doesn't vanish in the light like all the other daemons do.

He doesn't vanish, and when the newest Lucian tomb becomes newly empty, he is glad he didn't, somehow. 

Nearly.

~

It never goes away, not really, but eventually it becomes something Prompto can ignore the same way individual voices fade into the background at a restaurant. It blends into the blurred edges of his mind, and it's enough.

“I'm glad you're here,” Noct says out of the blue one night as he gets ready for bed. The crown is so delicate in his calloused hands, so small in the padded case where it rests. “I couldn't have done it without you, you know.”

Prompto almost believes it.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter [@compromisedunit](https://mobile.twitter.com/compromisedunit)!


End file.
